Marriage, Death, Divorce, Moving.... These are the Big Four stressors in our lives and while I don't have solutions to the first three I think I have some ideas on how to make moving as stress-free as possible.

When someone moves in this day and age it is usually for one of four reasons:

First, and most common is moving for job relocation which can mean a move across the state or across the world. And it's usually the man in the family who is being relocated. That can leave a lot of the work for the woman in his life since he's busy trying to figure out his new job.

Second is moving because of a change in marital status. Getting married or getting divorced, either one may be the reason for buying or selling a house. If you're getting married it's exciting but a little nerve wracking because you probably have a wedding to get through and if you're selling because of divorce... well, it's just stressful.... Period.

Third is moving because you are empty nesters and the kids have literally 'flown the coop.' This is usually a bitter-sweet time, getting reconnected with your spouse and getting used to having time for yourself. This is a good move usually.... If you could just find a place for all that furniture!

And fourth, well these are the folks who just want to sell and move up to a larger house with more amenities or more bedrooms, a pool or whatever. These moves are usually local and are less stressful than the first three categories. But moving of any kind is stressful to some degree.

Here are some tips on how to make moving as stress-free as possible.

In all of these scenarios the needs of the people involved are pretty much the same: The basic transaction requires several steps beginning with making the decision to move, searching for a place to move to, selling the place you already live (if you own), getting financing lined up for the purchase, negotiating a deal you are comfortable with, doing all the paperwork and then calling the movers and start packing.

Sometimes it can feel like you've lost control of the situation... like other people are making decisions for you and you're just along for the ride. Appraisers, inspectors, realtors, mortgage brokers... all of these people have a hand in the deal and you must trust them and their judgment to do what's best on your behalf. This is not always easy!

The best way to take back some control is to at least understand what each of these people do and why they are involved in the transaction. A good realtor can explain the role of each person and you will be able to ask questions and get answers that will help make the move as stress-free as possible. The fact is that most people move on average only once every 4.5 years in the United States and the professionals involved in your transaction probably do dozens or even hundreds of deals every year. Pick people you know or who are referred to you and you will have more peace of mind about their ability to represent you.

Another thing that is very important for you to think about is trying to remain flexible during the process. If you are working with a realtor he or she will keep you informed and try to prepare you for each step along the way of your home sale or purchase. But there will be inevitable loose ends or unexpected 'surprises' that seem to put everything in jeopardy... at least momentarily. Trust your advisors and be willing to bend a little or look at things from the other side of the transaction. For every seller there is a buyer who is probably just as uncertain and feels as vulnerable as you do. For every buyer there is a seller who desperately needs you to go through with your purchase so they can move on with their own plans.

It is in the best interest of all parties to remain calm, pleasant and willing to work with each other in order to achieve the ultimate goal of all... the successful sale and purchase of a home.

And the best way to make moving as stress-free as possible is to surround yourself with people you trust, who will return phone calls and answer emails and take the time to explain what's going on and why. Do not be embarrassed to ask questions. Buying or selling a home is usually the largest financial transaction a person will do in their lifetime and you need to feel comfortable every step of the way.